It wasn't our first date, or first phone conversation.. or first sexual experience together... it was the date of our first email exchange. That has been the date we celebrated each month of each year for the past 2 years. Unfortunately, Mark was out of town on business so we didn't celebrate the day together.. but, we plan to do that next week.
We are escaping ... 3 days.. in the Big Apple.. to see a Yankee game, do some fine dining.. maybe a show and relish the time away from life as it is here. It will be a celebration of still loving each other after all that has gone on.. despite the break ups.. the disappointments... the dreams we shared... the hopes that still loom large.. We are still each others best friends.
Yes, Mark is still married and living at home with his wife and children. There is no plan in place... and I have resigned myself to living my life, keeping busy and not having an expectation of anything happening anytime soon. I still dream the dream. I still receive an email from him and write him an email everyday. I still thank God for having met this man that truly taught me to love unconditionally and be loved in return.
On our anniversary date.. my email ended with this small piece:
So, thank you for writing that
email (on July 19, 2009). For finding me. For loving me. For being my best friend and lover. For
making me smile more than I have in a very long time. For these 2 years and
hopefully for many more to come. For the days when everything is right with my
world.
Today, 2 years later... life may not be what I had planned as my "happily ever after".. but, I don't regret a single thing, for ... I have been truly blessed to have fallen in love with my best friend.
Posts
Thank you so much for the update. Your blog was one of the first I read and really got me thinking that perhaps writing would help my own heart heal. I'm sorry you haven't gotten your happily ever after..but I'm glad to hear he is still a huge part of your life. I know its been one hell of a ride, but you sound happy and content right now...under the circumstances, sounds like you are in a good place.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comment J.. I hope you are well and in a good place as well.
ReplyDelete~Jen
For many of us, that chance of a happily ever after can seem so bleak. But your post is a good reminder that there are many shades of gray, where the good can outweigh the bad and regrets are unnecessary.
ReplyDeleteDoes Life ever end up the way we planned? The way we wanted it to??
ReplyDeleteHappy 2nd anniversary... :o)
~shoes~
I'm glad you and Mark are still friends (and that you are still around too). I think you have the right attitude - just live your life without expectations, while cherishing what you have, instead of contemplating what you don't have.
ReplyDelete(I'm glad to see an update too!)
Maybe it's not what you both wanted 2 years ago but it could be what you both need right now.
ReplyDeleteI'm really happy to hear that you're both doing well and that you are happy with what you have at this time. Having a friend that you love and loves you is a very rare thing. You're lucky, both of you!
Happy Anniversary!
Have fun in NYC. (I'm a bit jealous, I miss home) GO YANKEES!
So nice to read and update on you both.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your NYC time XX
Such nice news Jen. Happy 2nd anniversary, and I hope you have a great time in the Big Apple. Hugs to you both xxxx
ReplyDeleteI love seeing updates on this blog... especially the ones where you're both plugging along being happy together. Have a wonderful anniversary in NYC. I'll be on the look-out for a very happy couple when I go to the Yankee game this weekend :)
ReplyDeleteHolly: So true, happiness comes in many forms.. sometimes not as we planned or hoped but in finding peace with where we are.
ReplyDeleteShoes: I think the answer is "seldom" and the challenge lies therein.
France: I'm glad Mark and I are still part of each others lives too. There is comfort there and what will be will be. I hope you are well.
Nitebyrd: Thank you... a spin on life for sure. And I will give NYC your best !!
Jas: We will.. so much to do there.. so little time!
Leah: Hugs back at ya!
Bensmarty: Yes.. look for us.. we should be easy to find.. we will be the couple in the Yankee jerseys! ;)
Jen: Thanks for the update. Have a wonderful weekend in the Big Apple. It is good to hear you have come to terms with what you do have with Mark even if it isn't happily ever after and want to wish you both much happiness.
ReplyDeleteFD
Jen - sorry I've been MIA for awhile and trying to get caught up in all my blog reads. So glad to hear about your trip - hope you all had a fabulous time!
ReplyDelete