We are a couple in our 50's who met on Ashley Madison. Both searching for someone to bring sex back into our lives but not looking to change our situations. What happened is far from what we went looking for...
A number of you have commented on my Hitting the Century Mark post of last week, as it highlighted the fact that I actually record and document our orgasms as they've occurred since we consummated our relationship back in the fall of 2009. No derogatory comments, mind you. Au contraire - most have been quite complimentary.
So yes -- I admit. The two of us are indeed numbers whores. While Jen does have a Math background, I will admit it was I that instigated the Orgas-O-Meter. Every since I was a kid playing Strat-O-Matic baseball, I've always loved tracking statistics. Heck, I'm still one of those geeks that keeps score at a baseball game, be it a 12U girls softball game or a Yankees-Red Sox game on ESPN Classic. I've just always been fascinated with numbers. And then you give a stat freak Google Analytics? Oh my God, its like giving an adulterous blogger free sex toys to review!! Oh wait a minute -- been there, done that.
So here's just a random sampling of stats that I've collected over the life of this blog since its inception in December of last year. Some are Google Analytics-based, some are sex based. Feel free to do what most people do with this kind of minutiae -- ignore it!!!
As of this writing, Jen is now up to 106 orgasms. Mark is at 91, leaving us 3 short of a combined 200. And remember, the rule is the orgasm has to be stimulated by our partner. No sitting home flogging the bishop watching YouPorn.
We’ve had 2,329 visits by 1,025 absolute unique visitors to our blog since we started tracking with Google Analytics back in late February. Our readers have originated from 47 different countries.
The only states not to visit us are Nevada, Wyoming, North and South Dakota and Hawaii. Nevada – home to “Sin City?” And they’re not interested in our tales of fornication? Are you kidding me?
Jen and I have had 49 unique sexual encounters, most of which have been at her house, in her bedroom. But we have fucked in her family room, as well as at a local hotel and a Southern California Hilton Garden Inn. For you savvy stats-masters out there, if you divide 197 orgasms by 49 encounters, that gives you a 4.02 orgasm-per-rendezvous ratio.
We had 16 orgasms between us during that Hilton Garden Inn getaway in December ’09, and followed that up two weeks later with a 15 climax extravaganza at a local hotel right before Christmas. December ’09 was our best fucking month ever (pun intended) with 38 orgasms between us.
Outside the United States and Canada, Australia has our most loyal readership. Thank you Loverboy and Alabaster Legs!
Discarding our home state which skewed our statistics before I figured out how to ignore hits from our own computers, New Jersey is home to the most visitors to our blog.
Throwing out our multi-day California and Christmas hotel fuck-fests, Jen’s best output has been 6 orgasms in one of our standard 2-to-3 hour sessions. My best is 3, and I’ve achieved that 9 times. Before Jen, my best ever was 2, and that was probably less than 5 times lifetime.
Because this is a family blog, I will forego the computational analysis of 91 Mark orgasms x one teaspoon of ejaculate per orgasm = …Oh never mind …. Don’t worry – we haven’t wasted a single drop. Jen and I are great cleaner-uppers!
And which blogger friend of ours has directed the most traffic our way? Why of course, none other than the Kingpin himself -- the Big Kahuna – the Grand Poobah – and dare I say it the Top Dog? Yes, our friend Riff Dog over at Ashley and Me is our greatest source of referring traffic. And by an order of magnitude. But that’s not to diminish the visitors directed our way by our good friends Frances and Daniel over at 29 Pearls, Scorpio at I’m Not a Sex Addict I Don't Go To Meetings, and Chloe, the Unfaithful Soccer Mom and inspiration for our blog. And here’s a shout-out to the Eternal List, the Happily Married Wife, Nitebyrd and The Cheat for putting us on their blog roll and sending visitors our way.
Mark and I had our first “sleepover” at my house. It was a big moment for me. I live on stolen hours with him. Mostly it’s just a couple of lunchtime hours. Sometimes we get together after work and occasionally evening time, but only for a few hours. This was the first time when he pulled in the drive, it was for the night.
We often wonder how some couples manage these ‘getaways’ together fairly often. In our 8 months we have had one 2 night mini vacation and this recent sleepover. Mark tries to make as much time for me as he can, but all of us in this situation realize how hard it can be to just disappear for a few days, especially when you still have fairly young children at home.
When your AM ‘fling’ spirals into falling in love with the other person, you want so much more than just borrowed time. You want them with you always. You imagine so many things you want to do with and for each other. You lay in bed imagining them there beside you as you clutch your pillow for companionship. You want to be a ‘normal’ couple.
Such a contradiction isn’t it? We join Ashley because we are tired of the normalcy of home. The routine that is the day to day. We long for that attention and excitement of another body other than the one that has become comfortable and familiar, We want to feel needed as we crave someone else’s touch.. yearn to taste a different pair of lips .. have that urge to explore a new body and experience a whole new set of sounds and smells that accompany the journey. I think most of all, we like to feel desired again and that so often falls away when you settle into ‘normal’.
And that dear readers is the object of this post .. (I know you are all saying to yourself “FINALLY, she starting to ramble in circles like Riff”)
The best part of our 2 day west coast getaway.. and our Wednesday night sleepover(despite the unlimited sex) .. was the chance to feel so very normal. Before our trip all I could think about was being out of our hometown limits so we could walk around holding hands, go OUT to dinner, sit next to each other in public and kiss. I couldn’t wait to get on that plane and transform into an ordinary couple. The same holds true for our first night at my place. He came “home” to spend the night. We went and shopped, picked up dinner which we had together.. watched TV on the couch.. and then headed back to bed. All this without the urgency of watching a clock and managing our time. We made love when he first got to the house.. then again when we went to bed.. and finally as the two of us awoke.
I have fallen in love with a wonderful, married guy. It comes with some tough times emotionally but I wasn’t blind to the pitfalls of any of this when I signed up for AM. You take a chance, a gamble… and never know what will come.
So, now… all we look forward to….. is the chance to fall back into “normal”.
We hit a milestone of sorts Friday morning, as Jen celebrated her 100th orgasm since we've been together last fall. And a memorable one it was....
We really weren't planning on much more than a morning get-together and a brisk spring walk, as typically Jen's offspring are home on Friday morn. But we happened to find ourselves entangled in her sheets and embarked on a heavy makeout session, and decided to risk a little love making despite the fact that one of the kids was sound asleep (hopefully) in the room down the hall. As Jen is want to do, she eagerly attacked my cock giving me a hard-on that I couldn't help but want to put to good use. But before that, we engaged in a little side-by-side 69 action, as I was deliciously in the mood to worship her pussy. I was nibbling on those fleshy outer lips of hers, all the while engaging my middle finger in a little butt play. Then I proceeded to play with her clit with my thumb on my right hand, while thrusting my tongue in and out of her wetness.. Love to get all the appendages involved!!!
But knowing this was #100 approaching, I wanted it to be special for her.. More than just an oral climax, although I'm quite sure Jen wouldn't have turned me down. So after this blissful 69 session, I flipped myself around, gazed in her eyes, and ever-so-slowly began to enter her. I love just feeling every millimeter of her dripping cunt as my cock penetrates her. After a time of some nice, slow fucking I picked up the pace ... But wait!! FUCK!! I was so damned excited, I could feel myself wanting to explode .. And God knows, I didn't want to beat her to the punch - not with #100 imminent. So I pulled out ever so briefly and gave her a deep, passionate kiss while I ground my aching cock onto her clit, letting myself recuperate for about 20 seconds. And then it was time kick it into high gear. I pushed myself back inside her and started some furious thrusting until we both exploded in an incredible, simultaneous orgasm -- Jen's 100th and my 86th.
Thanks for the invite, Alabaster .... Made me sit down and think for a bit ....
1. Baseball - far and away, the best pure game ever invented. There's nothing like sitting out by the pool on a hot summer day listening to a game on the radio. Preferably with Vin Scully doing play-by-play. Which is a good segue into Like #2....
2. Satellite Radio - Because I like all kinds of music -- 60s, 70s, 80s, etc. Classical, modern country, classic country, folk, rock, Broadway show tunes, .. and yes, I'll even listen to that damn rap crap. And satellite radio quenches my thirst for all that and more, including broadcasting of every Major League Baseball game throughout the regular season and playoffs. I can't fathom ever going back to over-the-air radio.
3. Summer weather - the hotter and more humid, the better. Here in the northeast U.S. the summers are so short, those sultry days are here and gone in a blink of the eye. I can never get enough. Sunday evenings in the hot summer are for sitting on the front porch listening to Classic Country. Merle Haggard, George Jones, Don Williams ....
4. A certain NFL football team that will remain nameless lest it give away our hometown. But I've been going to their home games for 37 seasons, having missed only a handful of games since I bought my first season ticket at the age of 14 (I'm now 50). There's nothing like the raw excitement of an NFL football game.
5. My life since I've met Jen. Never have I been so happy .. so content .. so in love with anyone in my entire life. Despite the fact we can't be together as much as we'd like (which is 24/7), she brings joy to every minute of my day. She's worth every second of the 50 years it took me to find her.
Mark's Dislikes ...
1. Bette Midler's "The Wind Beneath my Wings". The song just goes right through me .. I like Bette Midler; I actually don't mind the song itself. But put the two together and it's like fingernails on the blackboard. Besides, everyone knows JEN is the wind beneath my wings.
2. Corned beef. 'Tis the season!!! My apologies to the Emerald Isle, but I'd rather eat the TV Guide.
3. Howard Stern. Can somebody tell me how this untalented, homely, cynical moron ever got a job in show business? Some people love this guy, but I can't change the station fast enough when he's on. I do not see the attraction.
4. The long, Northeastern U.S. winters. Yes, I love a fresh snowfall as much as the next guy .. and nothing beats a White Christmas ... but my goodness, when you're watching the cold rain turn to snowflakes on Mother's Day .. well, enough's enough.
5. Motorcycles. OK, I can sense your shock. What red-blooded American male deeply entrenched in a mid-life crisis, who's out having wild sex with a woman other than his wife, doesn't love the freedom of the open road offered up by a Harley-Davidson? That would be me. They're loud, dangerous and frankly, they scare the shit out of me. The last and only time I rode one was as a passenger when I was 19 years old.
And Jen will feel a lot better during those thunderstorms when I'm buried with her underneath the sheets with my tongue planted firmly in her ..... ahem...
And now ... my TAG will be .... none other than Daniel of 29 Pearls in Your Kiss. Good luck, my friend ... Hope you can keep the momentum going ...
Having been tagged by our beautiful Aussie friend Alabaster .. Mark and I will post our individual likes and dislikes. Ladies first…
1.Playing tennis, riding my bike , playing my piano or watching the Yankees in my free time.. When I am stressed it’s the piano time.. when I just need to move it’s tennis or a ride on my 10 speed.. to just pure lose myself .. it’s the Yanks !
2.Italian food … I love Italian food.. comfort food for me.. thus, that weight battle day to day
3.Being with my oh so sexy guy Mark.. whether it’s just hanging out on a blanket or the couch, a walk in the park, or making love to him.. every moment is the best. Even after 8 months and getting to see him almost everyday.. I still get excited when I see his car pull up.
4.Chatting with my kids.. and seeing their successes as they become very impressive adults. They have great senses of humor and make me laugh. They are great kids and I am blessed and proud to have them.
5.Sitting in front of my fireplace with a good book. One of life’s simple pleasures that I love.
1. Football and Basketball (I know .. blasphemy!)
3. Thinking about Mark doing things without me. Family things, friend things with the wife.
4. spicy foods (my stomach is too old to tolerate that stuff)
5.Thunderstorms at night . While most people love to watch a good thunderstorm I can be found waiting for it to end under the covers.
So there you have it! I guess now it’s my turn to TAG someone.. so… GENEVIEVE … of Neptune Blue… you’re it!
I must have March Madness on the brain today, as when I glanced at this pic it looked like Jen is lacing up the sneakers getting ready to go in during the next stoppage of play. And let me tell you folks, the girl's got game!
Hope you're gettin' some head in the game on Half-Nekkid Thursday!
As I have documented before, Mark and I don’t get a whole lot of evening time to spend together. I am sure “the wife” would frown if he told her he was heading out to fuck his girlfriend because, frankly.. ‘she’s tired of afternoon sex and is looking to have some fun in the evening’. Or, maybe she would just be pissed off that he said the word FUCK in front of her instead of spelling it out. Another scenario is, her responding with “Have a good time and can you pick me up some milk on the way home?” OK.. so, now I am getting a little delirious.. but, you get the gist. It just doesn’t happen too often.
But one night in mid January, an opportunity arose. He had to be somewhere and so did I, but the plan was for us both to cut out early and meet at my house, where we knew there would be nobody home but.. my dog. She’s too old to care what I am doing on the couch or behind my bedroom door.. and she’s too smart to tell what she knows. Because frankly, she knows who feeds her.
At 10pm he is rolling up my porch stairs and I am ready and waiting. We hit the bed and don’t even bother to remove clothes. Our lips and tongues find each other and I can feel his already hard cock grinding against me. I don’t know about most women.. but I swear I could cum from just that.. the feel of a his hard cock fully clothed rubbing against my also fully clothed wet and oh so sensitive clit. I have many times during some of our sessions been very close while I lay on top of him and place that straining cock in just the right spot as I move my hips and stimulate myself just the way I like it.
BUT, I am also a lover of that feeling of having a hard cock deep up inside me.. so I listen to that yearning of my pussy as it screams “NOT FAIR… I want to play too!” I am not sure when I made that the boss of me.. but.. so far, it wins every time, and I have yet to come that way fully clothed. (not counting Marks fingers bringing it on). but, it’s one of those things going on the bucket list.
Sparing you the intimate details, because we all know.. you guys don’t come here for the talk of pounding, fingering, sucking and toy play... The night was incredible.. we made each other moan and groan.. as we came multiple times.. The talk was filthy and sexy as hell… both of us covered with each others juices, hot, sweaty, erotic and so very satisfying. Mark loves the morning sex.. but I am a huge fan of the evening sex.
I am going to suggest Mark join a bowling team in September…. Each week he can tell the Mrs. he is going out tonight and will hopefully score BIG ! She doesn’t need to know he’s really coming to my house to F-U-C-K his girlfriend.
Jen thanks all of you for your well wishes as she battled through that nasty cold this week. And I just want to give everyone a heads-up (pun intended) that she's well on the road to recovery. We managed to spend a few hours together yesterday while I was supposed to be at work (wink, wink), and much to our delight, bodily fluids were exchanged!! While I certainly was tempting fate by me getting sick as well, let me tell you our super-hot Saturday session was well worth the risk. Took a little chill out of the air on this cold, rainy weekend here in the Northeast.
Because Jen gave all our readers a tease in her HNT post, I figured we owed it to our faithful followers to provide a follow-up to our Thursday lunch plans. And yes, Thursday we indeed had lunch .... Well, for about 5 minutes anyway before we got down to business. Now I'm not the world's greatest erotica writer -- especially compared to some of our friends here in the blog-o-sphere -- so I'm just going to focus on the highlights. (And as a woman who always has something to say... I will throw in my 2 cents when I feel it's needed.)
I got the ball rolling early that morning by texting Jen and letting her know this was going to be an "All about you day ..." I just get in those moods sometimes where her pleasure becomes my sole focal point. And that was on my mind the minute I sprung out of bed Thursday morning. (Ah yes, and my whole morning was consumed with the thought .. even though I was at work I wasn't thinking about work.)
It's tough concentrating at work knowing we're going to be meeting later that day, especially on those days when we know we'll have her big 'ol house all to ourselves. Lucky for me it was a busy morning at work, and before I could say "My balls are barkin'!, 12:30 had arrived and I was making the short, 15-minute drive to her house. I like to get myself in the mood by listening to music filled with a little "innuendo" on the drive in -- one of my current favorite's is "Carry Out", by Justin Timberlake and Timbaland.
So after we quickly wolfed down our sandwiches, we proceeded to the bedroom where it wasn't long before I had her sweater up over her shoulders, and her bra stretched up exposing those firm nipples that I so love to suck.(ooooh how the girls love the attention) Alternating between them and giving each equal time, with one between my lips and the other twisting roughly between my thumb and forefinger. My desire was starting to build as Jen's heavy moans and her encouraging words were driving me wild. Not holding back any longer, I just HAD to have her pussy in my mouth and I quickly removed her bottoms ....
Her first orgasm came in no time, as I had two fingers probed deep inside her while my tongue worked her clit. It was only a matter of minutes before she was arching her back and having those spasms I so love to feel from her -- her sweet pussy juice cumming in waves all over my face. (yep, that about sums that up... I was so ready it didn't take long)
Precisely at the moment she had that last convulsion, the phone rings ... It was a call she was waiting for, so she had to take it. No problem, I told myself. I bided my time, but soon started to tease a little, looking to get a head start on her next climax. So I crawled up next to her, nibbled on her fingertips, and seductively sucked them into my mouth, just looking to tease a little all the while she was on the phone. I was just moving down and getting started on her toes when the conversation ended, she hung up, and we were able to pick up where we left off ... (good thing I got to hang up because when his tongue hit my toes.. I am sure I was moaning loudly )
I was ready to thrust my throbbing hardness into her, but Jen turns to me and says "but I haven't even sucked your cock yet!" And I replied "No baby .. remember - this is an all about YOU day". To which she responded "Well, if its all about ME then I want to suck that fucking cock of yours!" So fellas -- how much of a fight do you think I put up with THAT one? Ahhhh... I thought so -- one thing I know about our readers -- they're smart! Her head was bobbing up and down on my thick shaft in no time...(ok I am just smirking as I read this.. feeling my mouth and tongue teasing him is the best thing since sliced bread for me)
After that staggering cocksucking session, I decided it was time to fuck. I needed to feel her wetness surrounding that cock of mine. But first I turned her on her side and moved in for the next round of oral sensations ... tongueing her ass with my tongue (AHHHH) .. giving her the rim action I had been fantasizing about all morning. I loved it as I slipped my forefinger into her cunt and worked her ass with my thumb .. never keeping my tongue out of the loop.
Not to lose the momentum, I rolled her over on her back and began fucking her missionary - loving it as she grabbed my butt from behind to encourage me to fuck her harder .. deeper .. With one leg pinned to her ear, I did just that and soon picked up the pace ... fucking her harder, deeper ... thrusting faster.... Orgasm #2 in the books. ... (bows)
I let her relax for a couple of minutes, but still - I wanted to give her more. I continued to fuck her missionary, but this time reached down with my hand to finger her clit while I kept working my now-soaked cock deep inside her.. This was an all new sensation for me, as I loved the feeling of my balls slapping her ass, while my cock was slick from her pussy juices and my fingers kept busy on her clit.(Ok men, here is a tip if you didn't already know.. having my already sensitive clit played with while he was fucking me... flood gates opened quickly ) Orgasm #3- history. But this time I didn't stop, as it was my turn and finally I released my pent-up load, much to the relief of my swollen jewels. (Jewels? lol )
We spent the next half hour or enjoying those moments we love best -- lying naked in each others arms, alternating between laughing, serious conversation, soft kisses, passionate kisses - and just gazing into each others eyes. These are the moments where we wish time stood still.
A glance at the clock, and I'm regrettably thinking its time to start making my way back to work. Jen had other plans ... She moved down to my embarrassingly tiny flaccid cock, and I'm thinking to myself "Good luck with that girl -- I think he's had it!!" But I should have known better - don't EVER underestimate Jen nor her ability to work my manhood back to life.(yea, I am smirking again ) She started sucking me -- her pussy juices and my cum still coating my cock - and I could start to feel the tingling .. Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, my guy was up, at-em, and ready for business!! I'm thinking Jen's got her sights set on Orgasm #4 -- but no!!! She shifts her cocksucking skills into overdrive and I'm telling you -- it isn't 30 seconds later and I'm shooting my second load deep down her throat.(Surprised even me to be honest.. it was filling my mouth before I knew what happened)
I love listening to her swish my cum around in my mouth before she swallows, and I can't wait to kiss her passionately as I always do after one of her mind-boggling blowjobs. Can there be anything more intimate?
I'm torn -- do I shower before I head back to work? I so love to carry Jen's cum taste on my lips all day.. And especially today after working her ass with my tongue. And later in the day, I do love to reach down down into my pants and still feel a little of that slickness left on my cock and bring some of it up to my tongue for a taste... But damn .. that shower feels SO good after one of these sessions. So I opt for cleanup. And I always regret it later in the day.
Final score on the Orgas-O-Meter -- Jen 3, Mark 2. I must say, even "All about Jen" days have their way of working out OK for me, don't they? and I am still smirking.. ; )
As I've explained so many times before, very often Jen has that way of touching me with the words she put's together in our morning email exchange . And Monday morning's email was one of those days...
"And yesterday.. i laugh when I think about how you say how great I looked.. with my paint covered tshirt and jeans.. no makeup and hair a mess... I know you love me when you can get past all that and still think I look good. But I was so very happy to get the chance to see you on a Sunday.. a day we just figured we would not see each other at all. Maybe you don't realize how much those sacrifices you make for me mean to me, but, it means a whole lot. We have put ourselves in a tough spot.. this was obviously not the ultimate time to fall in love with each other... and the great thing about being in love is.. feeling special (number one) to someone .. and them to you. I always hear you say how important I am to your life...but, we both know.. words are just words.. anyone can say them.. but, the action is the proof to me. You have gone out of your way to make me feel special of late.. and if I don't thank you in person.. I am doing so now. I need to feel like, despite the poor choice I may have made in falling for a married man, this isn't a mistake. What we have is real and special... to both of us."
Yes, we tell each other we love each other 100 times a day .. But seeing those words yesterday just gave me a sense of serenity that carried with me the rest of the day, throughout the night, and even into this morning...
I love you Jen .. Every heartbeat belongs to you...
OK, I can already hear you mumbling under your breath .. "What's going on here Mark? You've only been blogging a couple of months, and already you've sold out to BIG Pleasure Toy?" Well, put yourself in my shoes -- Jen and I get an email offering us a FREE ITEM .. And the only requirement is I have to have sex, introduce said item into our play, and post a review within 3 weeks of delivery. Are you kidding me???? Do you know how long it took for me to reply to THAT inquiry? Less than 10 seconds, my friends. Yes, after years of an S-E-X less marriage, Markie-Mark is livin' the dream....
So anyway, the company with the offer I couldn't refuse was The Adult Toy Shoppe. And let me start out by saying our dealings with them were nothing but top-notch. Correspondence was quick and very responsive, instructions were clear, and shipping was discrete and extremely fast. A week hadn't elapsed between the initial offer email and the time that UPS dropped the item at Jen's front door. And needless to say, we were anxious to get to work.
Jen already has a few weapons in her arsenal, so she deferred the selection to me -- something I would enjoy. So I picked the Men's Pleasure Wand, pictured here to the right.
Although a novice anal enthusiast, I was ready for the challenge. We've used a couple of Jen's vibrators for my anal pleasuring in the past, but I must say, the thinner profile of the Pleasure Wand made for easier, deeper penetration. While recommended for solo play or for a "sexy foreplay encounter", Jen and I chose the foreplay method for this review. Well, not exactly foreplay -- "between play" is more like it. We already had knocked off a spectacular 3 orgasm session before we embarked on our Pleasure Wand adventure. And Jen had nothing but good things to say about the strategic location of the ring handle, as it made her work quite enjoyable and facilitated the penetration process. Click here as she works her magic. As for pleasuring the prostate? Well, with all due respect to Dr. Chevron, my trusty urologist, nothing can top the Pleasure Wand!!! My prostate has never been so gratified!
Any negatives? Well, I did find the lowest speed almost unnoticeable. But heck, maybe that's a factor of my age. You know how the older you get the less you can hear those high-pitched tones that dogs can hear? Well, perhaps its the same deal with anal vibes ... And that hook on the end? The scrotum massager? It really didn't do too much for me ... Although keep in mind I had the world's greatest scrotum satisfier working her craft with her lips and tongue. Sure toys are great, but nothing beats the real thing!! So yes -- I will admit, I wasn't using the scrotum massager in its best configuration -- solo mode.
But all-in-all, Jen and I loved the toy and we'll definitely be using it again. I'm giving it 3.5 out of 5 stars, losing one star for the indifference to the scrotum massage and a half point for no feel on the lowest vibe setting. And 5 out of 5 stars for The Adult Toy Shoppe --- stop by and browse when you get a chance. It's well worth the trip!