Mark and I had our first “sleepover” at my house. It was a big moment for me. I live on stolen hours with him. Mostly it’s just a couple of lunchtime hours. Sometimes we get together after work and occasionally evening time, but only for a few hours. This was the first time when he pulled in the drive, it was for the night.
We often wonder how some couples manage these ‘getaways’ together fairly often. In our 8 months we have had one 2 night mini vacation and this recent sleepover. Mark tries to make as much time for me as he can, but all of us in this situation realize how hard it can be to just disappear for a few days, especially when you still have fairly young children at home.
When your AM ‘fling’ spirals into falling in love with the other person, you want so much more than just borrowed time. You want them with you always. You imagine so many things you want to do with and for each other. You lay in bed imagining them there beside you as you clutch your pillow for companionship. You want to be a ‘normal’ couple.
Such a contradiction isn’t it? We join Ashley because we are tired of the normalcy of home. The routine that is the day to day. We long for that attention and excitement of another body other than the one that has become comfortable and familiar, We want to feel needed as we crave someone else’s touch.. yearn to taste a different pair of lips .. have that urge to explore a new body and experience a whole new set of sounds and smells that accompany the journey. I think most of all, we like to feel desired again and that so often falls away when you settle into ‘normal’.
And that dear readers is the object of this post .. (I know you are all saying to yourself “FINALLY, she starting to ramble in circles like Riff”)
The best part of our 2 day west coast getaway.. and our Wednesday night sleepover(despite the unlimited sex) .. was the chance to feel so very normal. Before our trip all I could think about was being out of our hometown limits so we could walk around holding hands, go OUT to dinner, sit next to each other in public and kiss. I couldn’t wait to get on that plane and transform into an ordinary couple. The same holds true for our first night at my place. He came “home” to spend the night. We went and shopped, picked up dinner which we had together.. watched TV on the couch.. and then headed back to bed. All this without the urgency of watching a clock and managing our time. We made love when he first got to the house.. then again when we went to bed.. and finally as the two of us awoke.
I have fallen in love with a wonderful, married guy. It comes with some tough times emotionally but I wasn’t blind to the pitfalls of any of this when I signed up for AM. You take a chance, a gamble… and never know what will come.
So, now… all we look forward to….. is the chance to fall back into “normal”.