Saturday, March 27, 2010

Ordinary? people

Mark and I had our first “sleepover” at my house. It was a big moment for me. I live on stolen hours with him. Mostly it’s just a couple of lunchtime hours. Sometimes we get together after work and occasionally evening time, but only for a few hours. This was the first time when he pulled in the drive, it was for the night.

We often wonder how some couples manage these ‘getaways’ together fairly often. In our 8 months we have had one 2 night mini vacation and this recent sleepover. Mark tries to make as much time for me as he can, but all of us in this situation realize how hard it can be to just disappear for a few days, especially when you still have fairly young children at home.

When your AM ‘fling’ spirals into falling in love with the other person, you want so much more than just borrowed time. You want them with you always. You imagine so many things you want to do with and for each other. You lay in bed imagining them there beside you as you clutch your pillow for companionship. You want to be a ‘normal’ couple.

Such a contradiction isn’t it? We join Ashley because we are tired of the normalcy of home. The routine that is the day to day. We long for that attention and excitement of another body other than the one that has become comfortable and familiar, We want to feel needed as we crave someone else’s touch.. yearn to taste a different pair of lips .. have that urge to explore a new body and experience a whole new set of sounds and smells that accompany the journey. I think most of all, we like to feel desired again and that so often falls away when you settle into ‘normal’.

And that dear readers is the object of this post .. (I know you are all saying to yourself “FINALLY, she starting to ramble in circles like Riff”)

The best part of our 2 day west coast getaway.. and our Wednesday night sleepover(despite the unlimited sex) .. was the chance to feel so very normal. Before our trip all I could think about was being out of our hometown limits so we could walk around holding hands, go OUT to dinner, sit next to each other in public and kiss. I couldn’t wait to get on that plane and transform into an ordinary couple. The same holds true for our first night at my place. He came “home” to spend the night. We went and shopped, picked up dinner which we had together.. watched TV on the couch.. and then headed back to bed. All this without the urgency of watching a clock and managing our time. We made love when he first got to the house.. then again when we went to bed.. and finally as the two of us awoke.

I have fallen in love with a wonderful, married guy. It comes with some tough times emotionally but I wasn’t blind to the pitfalls of any of this when I signed up for AM. You take a chance, a gamble… and never know what will come.

So, now… all we look forward to….. is the chance to fall back into “normal”.

10 comments:

  1. *gulp* i'm sure you don't need me to tell you how close your post hits to home. i'm glad you guys got some "normal" time. it can be such a great stress release, but so hard to let go of. it's been ages since d and i have been able to manage an overnight...

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  2. It HAS been ages. Almost a year and a half I think? Not that we don't get "normal" time -- a couple weeks ago we spent an evening shopping and going to dinner like "normal people"... And maybe fooled around in the car a little bit. ;-) But the overnights have been just impossible to come by. :-/

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  3. F&D: We know that you know the trials of this kind of relationship more than anyone. We wish you both peace in these trying times.. strength to keep on and the future you dreams of within reach. We are rooting for you!!

    ~Jen

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  4. it's so sweet to spend quality time together knowing such chances are hard to come by. happy stayover ;)


    Jo

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  5. Hi Jo.. Thanks for the comment and for stopping by to read. Sweet is a word I use often in describing my time with Mark. We look forward to those moments more than you know!

    ~Jen

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  6. I've been reading your blog for quite a while :) keep those posts coming, and keep the love going! look forward to your next entry :)


    Jo

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  7. That you took a chance and fell in love is amazing, it gives others hope. I doubt that even when you get together permanently, you'll not really be "normal", what you have is too special.

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  8. i cant believe how you tapped into me with your post it was like someone touched my spirit of desire. I too have a like situation and I have only achieved a full day at my home when no one was around for a month. I felt like a different woman a different sub since. I am hoping for an opportunity for a getaway where I can be with my Dom for a few days. I am happy for you although I do have a pang of envy. But so much happiness for what you have is similar to he and all I see so much of us in you. I stick to being a reader.....

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  9. Nitebyrd: I think you are so right.. we will never be a 'normal' couple in that, I don't think we will take what we have for granted. It was too hard a journey to get there to forget.

    Muse: We know your envy.. I feel it when I read of others who have so many opportunities to get away. We so often talk of escapes but never have the chance to actually do it. Thanks for reading .. I wish you more time with your man and the chance to feel more like a couple.

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  10. Congrats on the numbers. They show how much you're enjoying each other and meeting each other needs.

    And your stats are much better than baseball stats!!! LOL.

    FD

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