Monday, December 6, 2010

State of "affairs" ... (jen)

I thought I might update for those of you who are still reading or still care about what is going on with Mark and I. And since this is still "our" blog .. I figured I could give a 'state of affair'  post.

We are not out of touch. If anything.. we are probably more "together" without being physically together than ever.  If that makes any sense.. then continue reading.

I guess what I am trying to say is... we are still in contact everyday, at least a couple of  times a day. Whether it be via instant message or phone... we still chat at least first thing every morning and before bedtime.  Our friendship is as strong as it has ever been. 

Have we seen each other since that fateful day of Oct . 19th?   We have .. a few times.  If you don't read my blog you probably don't know about some of the stuff that has been going on in our personal lives but, suffice to say.. we have both faced some challenges of late.  Mark in his family life... me in my both my personal and family life.  We've gotten together a few times to share our sorrows, cry some tears and as we always do.. hold each other up. 


Take note... there has been no "line crossing"...  no sex (not even in Bill Clinton terms).. no make out sessions.. no clothing removal except for coats or shoes.  But, each time.. we felt that comfort that we both get from each other and know that our friendship is as special as our relationship was.

What comes next for us?  Of course.. that remains to be seen.  We are 7 weeks into the break up. I think we both are handling things as best we know how.  Mark knows where I stand and that this isn't going to last forever... meaning,  my waiting to see what will happen. I as well am aware, that he may not leave anytime in the near future because he just isn't ready . Both of those 2 things could lead to us finally saying goodbye forever.  We just couldn't possibly keep our lives on hold indefinitely.  On the other hand... in light of some of the stuff that has been going on at Marks end.. he could be ready to leave sooner rather than later.

In the meantime... we keep in touch. Both of us knowing that tomorrow could be the day either one of us could say  goodbye.. or it could be the day that he shows up at my door with his bag in hand. The holidays are going to be difficult .. the imagination runs wild about what could happen..  BUT...

I hope with the new year we can find our way to some sort of new opening... or closure if that is to be the case.

Happy Holidays to you.. and yours.  Count your blessings, hug your kids and tell those you love how much they mean to you.. You never know what tomorrow could bring.

*hugs*

6 comments:

  1. Jen: Hope things woek out for both of you and happy holidays.

    And always good advice to hug your kids and tell them u love them.

    FD

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  2. This time of year always lends itself to thoughtful reflection, especially as we get older. The promise of a "new year" always brings hope.

    I hope that you and Mark will be together.

    Best wishes to you and yours for a happy, healthy, peaceful holiday.

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  3. I envy you to be able to have a normal friendship; it shows you how mature and respectful Mark is.

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  4. @FD: thanks so much... what comes next for us waits to be seen. But.. my kids are a constant. Looking forward to having them all together again for Christmas. hugs to you .

    @Nitebyrd: So many hopes for what the New Year brings. We wish you a wonderful holiday as well.. good health and much wealth !!!

    @France: Mark is the 2nd most amazing man I know.. he is very respectful, kind, attentive, loving.. and so much more. He reminds me so very much of my Dad.. who is still the number 1 man in my life. I am very lucky that I still have them both in my life.

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  5. I'm so glad to hear that you are still present in one another's lives. And hopeful that you will one day share a life together. Best to you both this holiday season ...

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Thanks for your thoughts... we always welcome them, negative or positive... so, fire away !