Cliff Richard.... Wow .. that's really reaching back .. Into the 70s, I think.
As you may recall from my last post, Jen suggested it was time for me to sit down with The Wife and have "the talk" -- the "what do you want from me and where is this marriage going?" talk. Now Jen has been urging me to do this for a while now -- not just for her own peace of mind, but for mine as well. So the Monday after the Father's Day Debacle, I decided that time had come and I would talk to her that evening after the kids went to bed.
And one thing leads to another that afternoon and evening, one distraction after another, and the next thing you know I'm snoring away on my bed by 9pm. The talk still hasn't happened. But around 11:30 I awake to find her yelling at me over some non-nonsensical minutiae, and despite being exhausted beyond words, I knew I had to initiate "The Talk".
It's at this point I'd like to harken back on a comment that our good friend nitebyrd made to my previous post: "I hope that your wife will not just hear your words to her but will also listen to you". Well, THAT turned out to be a complete fantasy. I started the conversation with a "We've got to talk .. We have some REAL problems here..." and was hoping that she'd have one ounce of sympathy in her to say "Yeah, you're right -- what's the end game here?" or something to that effect, but no .. she immediately adopted a confrontational position. Ain't no "listening" going on here. I tried to be calm .. I tried to be rationale .. I tried to discuss things like an adult ... but she would have none of THAT. Everything was thrown back in my face -- how miserable I've been lately, how emotionally removed I had been from the family for quite some time -- all the things I KNOW I had admittedly become were just being rehashed and regurgitated back at me without one concern whatsoever as to WHY I had been acting that way. And when I tried to explain .. when I made remarks like "You know, you are the one and only person in this whole world that I simply can not talk to .. not even have a conversation with .. its been that way for years", she would have none of that. She could have cared less about the root cause of the problem -- all she knew was that I was the one that was going to have to change. And this confrontation went on for well over an hour. By 1am I was exhausted, both physically and emotionally, and had to get to sleep.
And STILL .. no resolution. Nothing had changed... And now my focus was how was I going to explain this to Jen? I didn't have the answer I was looking for .. Jen certainly wasn't going to have the answer SHE was looking for .... AND ....
...the appointment with her therapist was looming just two days away. I was wound tighter than a drum. I was beaten down physically and emotionally over a 48 hour period and I knew .. I just KNEW .. that the week was going to get worse.
And my instincts were spot on.
All of the below
1 month ago