I just got a text from Mark who is on a date (father/daughter dance) with his 2 girls.
The text read.. "Just danced with the girls to Butterfly Kisses. A real tear-jerker"
UGH. What am I doing?
This is an amazing man who adores his girls more than life itself. His younger daughter Sara, the one who "cracks him up" with her quick wit and silly girlish chatter. She is sure she will grow up to be a rock star... and won't even consider it not to be an option.
Then there is Allison.. who is Daddy's girl. She and Mark have that wonderful relationship.. she makes him lunch, goes with him on errands.. wants to be with Dad and just cherishes him, and Mark feels exactly the same about her. So, what do I think I'm doing?
What selfish bone in my body thinks its fair to take him from these 2 little beings who probably couldn't imagine waking up not to see Daddy sitting at the table with his coffee and paper. These sweet children he brought into this world with the expectation of watching them grow from innocent, lovable young girls to arrogant but still lovable teens? What would happen to them if one day, Daddy wasn't there to kiss them goodnight. Will their whole life come unraveled?
I at the moment, wish I could turn back time.. or move it ahead.. or just make it stand still. Apparently I don't know what I want... but, I know I don't want to hurt two beautiful young souls who expect their lives to be this happy and simple forever. How could I ask him to leave that for me?
I can't... can I?