Friday, January 15, 2010

Sit down son, we have to talk

So.. the New Year has begun.. and Mark and I finally had “the talk”.
noooo...Not the "let me tell you about the facts of life" talk ..… the “what’s the plan” talk.

When we met, neither of us were worried about a plan or a future. We just wanted to find someone we could have crazy, wild, uninhibited sex with. My guy and I were on some kind of hiatus apparently, and Marks wife took the hard religious stand of.. “if we aren’t trying to procreate, sex is immoral” (see Marks post below) . Barren.. both of us. Horny.. yep, both of us. Frustrated?.. oh yea. Ashley Madison… yea, that was us too. But, you know all of that if you read the previous posts.

Here we are 6 months later.. suddenly in love with each other. Having that wild, uninhibited sex every chance we get. Hanging out as much as possible even if just for lunch or a couple hours after work. Still having that incomplete feeling without each other. We call them “hole in our heart” days… when you just ache to be with your love. He was everything I could have hoped for, and more.
Realizing, this isn’t just the blush of a new romance, but truly, LOVE.. in the simplest and purest form.

What happens next? Here's the sticky part.

Mark has told me more times than I can count that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. We both are awed by this connection we have found at the age 50. And being 50... we both know that rest of our lives could be only a few years to 20 or 30 more.But, it's hard to talk about a future when I know people will be hurt, especially kids. So, most of the time we just don't talk about it.. we allude to it.

This isn’t an actual conversation we’ve had.. but you get the gist of how they go from my imaginary convo.

(curtain open,, enter SL)

Him: I love you so much, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Me: I know babe .. I feel that way too. Hmmmm, but… you still have a wife and kids

Him: Oh yea, that’s a problem right?

Me: Yea, sorta. Too many people in this relationship.

Him: We need a plan.

Me: We do need a plan. (silence)
Sooo.. how about them Yankees?

Him: Great season.

The end (bows, exit stage right)

Avoidance.. we were good at it. But the holidays made everything more important. I couldn’t bear to go through another set of those.

Thus… “the talk” of “a plan”


  1. Gulp. That conversation sounds familiar. I hope you guys don't break the year mark still having it. We're past two and it just keeps getting harder. I know we may be younger and though we are similar it's not the same, but speaking from experience, dragging it out isn't helping anything. It's caused ridiculous health problems, not to mention the emotional stress for everyone. I'm not telling you what to do, but this has been our experience and it hasn't been a good one.

  2. Thanks Frances .. I'll be posting my follow-up to Jen's story shortly, but essentially that IS the plan, i.e., we never want to go through another holiday season like this past one. The hurt was unbearable for Jen and I both. The loneliness for Jen, and the pain I felt by not being able to spend the most joyous of seasons with the one I love. And further complicate it by being forced to spend it with someone I practically detest. Never again.

    Great to have yourself and Daniel as our cyber soul mates.. We sincerely appreciate your commentary.



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